I’m Not Entirely Thrilled About Martha’s Moment. Here’s Why.

By now, I’m sure you’ve seen Martha Stewart on the cover of Sports Illustrated’s annual swimsuit issue. The sultry photos of the 81-year-old lifestyle mogul broke the internet earlier this week, with women everywhere rejoicing the fact that ageist barriers had lifted and mature women were finally being seen as desirable and relevant.

“I am so thrilled,” said Stewart, who is now the magazine’s oldest cover model. “I hope this...inspires you to challenge yourself to try new things, no matter what stage of life you are in.”

I understand why Stewart and fans are celebrating this milestone; it's exciting to see an older woman occupy a glamorous space once reserved for much younger models. But I do think we’re jumping the gun in declaring that this event was a giant leap in combatting ageism.

And just for the record, I don't care if the images were airbrushed, or whether or not Stewart has had cosmetic surgery. Every woman should be allowed to decide how to present herself to the world, and no one should judge her for it.

What I take issue with is the media's insincere and half-assed efforts to support women.

As you know, I’m a staunch advocate for women over 40 gaining more positive visibility. For decades, the media has simply ignored women in midlife and beyond. Or stereotyped, demeaned and caricatured them. Things are slowly evolving, thanks to more women controlling the narrative (as I write about here), but seeing a mature woman on the cover of a magazine is still quite the event.

And that's the problem. By 2023, it shouldn’t be an event.

As someone who worked at fashion magazines for more than a decade, I know the types of conversations that go on in editorial offices prior to an endeavor like this. There’s usually a marketing strategy that involves generating shock and awe. And I'm sure the editors at Sports Illustrated were salivating just thinking about the media attention Stewart’s appearance would draw. During the weeks leading up to publication, headlines with superlatives like “oldest cover girl ever” were probably dancing like sugar plums in their heads. And they must have speculated (rightly so) that a substantial portion of the publicity would be free, as women all over the world shared the images on social media, singing Sports Illustrated’s praises—Hallelujah! Ageism is a thing of the past!

Some would call that pandering.

The sad truth is, women continue to be viewed in extremes by a patriarchy that still largely governs what images we consume. And it's no wonder, because extremes make for great headlines: "The best. The worst. The oldest. The youngest." But what about everything in between? You’ve heard of the Madonna/whore complex, where women are perceived as either virtuous or wanton? Well, when it comes to our age, we’re either young and hot, or old and worn out. Then along comes a rare bird like Stewart, who manages to be old and hot, and everyone scrambles to make a symbol out of her.

I’m not 100-percent sure why this is, but magazines are also more likely to stick a much older woman, like Stewart, in a bathing suit than someone in middle age. I think it's partially because of the aforementioned shock and awe factor. But I suspect it also has to do with the fact that at a certain point—well beyond midlife—women are no longer seen as threatening. Exactly what age that is, no one knows for sure. But you best believe that at some stage, every woman is relegated to “benign old lady” status, even if she's running three corporations, competing in triathlons and yes, hot enough to grace a magazine cover.

Although Stewart remains an entrepreneurial powerhouse, she now occupies a nonthreatening space in our culture—Grandma Land—where, despite her career status, she's seen as a cute, lovable senior (don't let the sexy photos fool you). Which is infuriatingly patronizing and reductive. And if you've ever wondered why the 50-year-old Martha Stewart wasn't invited to don a bathing suit on the cover of a men's magazine, maybe it's because back then, instead of being applauded for her work ethic and success in the prime of her career, she was regulary being mocked as a emotionless, overachieving Stepford Wife. Even after she went to prison and earned street cred.

I ask: With the exception of 54-year-old superhuman Jennifer Lopez, who seems to grace every magazine cover these days, where is the representation in the middle?

If Sports Illustrated's true goal was to break barriers and combat ageism, they’d regularly feature models over 40—and 50, and 60 and 70—so that we’re not rejoicing every time they throw us a bone with someone like Stewart. When this happens, the older woman becomes a curiosity. A novelty. She is praised for her age-defying looks and her persistent relevance. She is viewed as an anomaly.

So I say, let’s not make a big deal out of an older woman gracing a magazine cover. Let’s not praise her for "still" kicking butt in her career or being viable in the world. Instead, let’s celebrate the awe-inspiring crap she’s been doing all along, decade after decade. And let’s honor her at every stage of her beautiful journey.

And it goes without saying: No woman of any age should feel the need to wear a plunging one-piece to prove her desirability or worthiness. I'm all for sexy bathing suits and clothes, if that's what a woman chooses for herself (as I have on occasion). But why is it that females are still being strutted out in skimpy little numbers like they're the catch of the day? (I have yet to see George Clooney wearing a Speedo on the cover of any magazine.) And why are swimsuit issues still a thing? Shouldn't they have gone the way of beauty pageants?

When it comes down to it, what makes a woman sexy is her smile. The way she laughs, carries herself and maneuvers herself through the world. You know, the timeless, ageless stuff that actually matters.

Women After My Own Heart

When I began this project more than 18 month ago, I had no idea how many amazing individuals were doing work with a similar mission. Some of them have appeared on the More Beautiful Podcast, and I've had the honor of appearing on some of their remarkable shows. A couple weeks ago, I was a guest on Patti Deiner’s Beautiful Second Act podcast that reminds people "it's never too late to do that thing you've only dared to dream of." Last month I was interviewed by Jen Marples, who insists "You're not too f— old" to do anything. And a few weeks ago I joined Anne Pillsbury on her program, Pivot on Purpose. These women are magnificent human beings and midlife powerhouses who are making great strides in changing the narrative around aging. You can find their beautiful shows here, and be sure to follow them all!

More Juicy Conversations!

June is right around the corner. Which means the third season of the More Beautiful Podast is getting underway! Catch up on past episodes here, and be sure to watch the first ever More Beautiful Podcast Trailer on Instagram. Have a More Beautiful weekend!