My Menopause Moment

If you had told me a year ago that I would someday publicly discuss my menopause experience, I would’ve laughed. So, last month, when Gabriella Espinosa asked me to write about that very topic for her online platform, My Menopause Story, my first impulse was to say no.

A month earlier, at age 54, I had officially hit the big milestone—that is, I went one full year without a period. And truthfully, I was relieved. After several years of annoying, unpredictable symptoms such as irregular cycles, bloating and disrupted sleep, I finally felt good again. Different, but good. I wanted to forget perimenopause had ever happened and just get on with my life.

So why would I revisit the tumultuous journey in a personal essay?

I think my apprehension also stemmed from shame. Many women my age and older were conditioned to believe that respectable woman did not openly discuss certain things, and menopause was at the top of the list. Admitting that you were transitioning out of your reproductive years was like announcing to the world that you were past your prime, a relic, sexually undesirable and, well, old.

What nonsense.

These past few years I’ve thought a lot about my mother, aunts, grandmothers and great-grandmothers, all of whom probably suffered hot flashes, hormone-related headaches, anxiety and/or dozens of other symptoms without understanding the biology behind them. Without getting solid, non-condescending advice from their male doctors, or having easily accessible information like we do now (thank you, Google). Menopause was just another thing women were expected to just shut up about and endure.

That’s why I ultimately decided to say yes to Gabriella. I decided to say yes to sharing my menopause story. And most important, I decided to say yes to breaking a generations-long taboo about a natural and inevitable transition that half the world’s population experiences.

Almost every day—whether on Instagram, on the podcast or in this newsletter—I’m out here touting midlife as an opportunity for personal growth. Truthfully, menopause made me doubt all that for a hot minute. But that minute passed, like everything else, and I got back to business working alongside so many incredible women who are shining a light on menopause and midlife: Healthcare experts who are dispensing crucial information about symptoms and treatments. Influencers 40, 50 and beyond who are showing us that beauty and joie de vivre don’t evaporate with age. Writers, speakers and podcasters who are changing the conversation around aging. As a result, more women are feeling heard, getting the answers they’re seeking, and even building new midlife communities.

Yes, we're getting older, our bodies are changing and nothing feels quite the same. But the menopause transition ushers us out of what Chip Conley, this week’s More Beautiful Podcast guest, calls a “liminal space” of uncertainty, into a more meaningful place where we feel integrated and whole. For me personally, having a little less estrogen circulating in my body seems, so far, to be a good thing. I’m evolving from a people pleaser who used to take things too personally, to a woman who’s focused on the big picture and using her skills for the greater good. As for my feelings about midlife, I’m more certain than ever that this is an era of enormous personal growth, unbridled creativity, freedom and joy.

Just after reaching menopause, I reflected on my 31-year-long reproductive run and it dawned on me that my mother hadn’t commemorated my first period (all 13-year-old Maryann got was a hug and a “Congratulations, you’re a woman now”). So, I decided to honor my last one. I poured myself a glass of champagne and toasted to my “M Day” and my next chapter.

If you never celebrated your M Day, do it now. And if you’re not there yet, take your time. I’ll be waiting for you on the other side with a bottle of bubbly tucked under my arm and two champagne flutes in hand.

The Making of a Modern Elder

If you thought I was passionate about midlife, wait until you hear what my most recent podcast guest has to say. I’m beyond thrilled that I had the opportunity to chat with entrepreneur, author, speaker and midlife advocate Chip Conley for an intimate conversation about aging, menopause/andropause, and how Chip is revolutionizing the way people approach their second half of life.

Chip disrupted the hospitality industry not once, but twice—first as the founder and CEO of Joie de Vivre, the world’s second largest boutique hotel chain, and then as the head of global hospitality and strategy at Airbnb. In 2018, he decided to disrupt the concept of aging by co-founding the very first school dedicated to helping people navigate midlife with a renewed sense of purpose and possibility.

Chip and I talk about so much during this thought-provoking episode, including:

🌴 The tragic events that motivated him to embark on a mission to reframe midlife, as well as the profound personal experience that woke him up to how he wanted to approach his next life phase

🌴 How his time at Airbnb, where he was referred to as a "modern elder" (and he dubbed himself a "mentern"), helped him realize how crucial intergenerational mentorship is and the unique skills people in midlife and beyond possess

🌴 Why Chip believes midlife is in desperate need of a makeover (midlife crisis, anyone?) and should be rebranded as a time of personal growth and transformation; how consciously curating your life can help you cope with messy midlife transitions

🌴 The ways in which your personal operating system shifts as you get older (think: if the first half of life is about ego, the second is about soul growth), and the brain changes that give you a special kind of intelligence

🌴 Why Chip believes aging is alchemy, or the point in life when you’ve finally integrated all those parts of yourself so you can show up as your full self wherever you go

🌴 How cancer propelled Chip into "manopause" (technically speaking, andropause), what he wants men (and the women who love them) to know about the biological changes guys are experiencing, and how we can communicate with one another about all of it

🌴 Why he started Modern Elder Academy (MEA), what he hopes students get out of the program, and why you’re going to want to enroll ASAP (did I mention the first campus is located in Baja, Mexico?)

I’m so excited for you to listen to my enlightening conversation with Chip, and can’t wait to hear what you think.